Mom, she has been there for everyone in the family. Preparing meals, making sure that we were all properly clothed. Taking care of us when we were sick. Handing out love to each and every one of her children. Loving her husband with endless kindness. Tender kisses on our skinned knees, bumps and bruises all along the path of growing up. Supporting all of our functions and even being a part of them in many ways.
Mom has always been there for all of us growing up. Now, it's time for all of her family to be there for her while she is down with this cancer. We have all come together so boldly to help out. To give those tender kisses on her hands and forehead. To hug her gently as a small tear finds its way down our cheeks.
Dad helping her to get dressed and in to her wheelchair to take on another day.
We have all come together to be there for Mom. The one that has been there for all of us over the past 52 years.
We love you, Mom. Together, we will all get you through this cancer and soon you will be dancing in the middle of the floor again with Dad.
Happy Mothers Day, Mom. Love from your family, Daddy, Jenni (myself) and my husband Rob, Rebecca and her husband Clem, Annie and her husband Chris, Lisa and her husband Mark, your Granddaughter Rachelle and her husband Bill, all of your grandchildren, Rachelle, Robert, Rebecca, Bethany, Abigail, Zedechiah, Elijah, Craig, Sarah, Connor and Faith and all of your great-grandchildren, Abigail, Joey, Devin and Madysen.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
A NEW STEP
It's been interesting to see how someone that has been so independent, taking care of her family now has her family taking care of her.
Going from her wheelchair to the minivan has become quite a chore lately. Dad made a wooden step for her to get up in to the bed, and he carries that cumbersome step outside to the van every time they need to go places. It is quite heavy and with Dad's arthritis in his hands, it becomes a chore even for him to do.
My wheels were turning once again, how can we make this simpler on both of them?
I had scheduled an afternoon to spend with my daughter, Rachelle. We went out shopping for some food for the house so that I could cook dinners and such for Mom and Dad. Then we went out to lunch and had a wonderful visit.
Part of the visit, I had mentioned to Rachelle that I wanted to go to a thrift store and find an aerobic step for Grandma. I knew what I had in mind as long as the dimensions and weight would fit my idea.
After we finished lunch, we went to Goodwill. No luck finding what we were after. Then off to Play It Again Sports. Again, no luck. So, then to Big-5. They had one left in stock. I looked at it carefully and determined that it would be perfect. It was lightweight, measured 4 inches in height and about 18 inches long. The surface had a simple non-skid top to it. I loved it, so I bought it.
When we got back to the house, Mom and Dad were in the lower dining room watching TV.
"Hey Mom," I said.
I held up the box to show off the newest addition.
"You get to do aerobics now," I laughed. Mom smiled a little wondering what I was up to.
I pulled the step out and explained what it was for. Both Mom and Dad were excited to use the new step.
Later that afternoon when it was time for Mom's radiation again, we were able to put the new step to use.
Another rave review on the new ramp, then total excitement at the ease of the new step. Dad was super happy that it was so light. Mom said that it was a perfect height and we all noticed how perfectly it fit under the wheelchair.
What another awesome day it has been.
Going from her wheelchair to the minivan has become quite a chore lately. Dad made a wooden step for her to get up in to the bed, and he carries that cumbersome step outside to the van every time they need to go places. It is quite heavy and with Dad's arthritis in his hands, it becomes a chore even for him to do.
My wheels were turning once again, how can we make this simpler on both of them?
I had scheduled an afternoon to spend with my daughter, Rachelle. We went out shopping for some food for the house so that I could cook dinners and such for Mom and Dad. Then we went out to lunch and had a wonderful visit.
Part of the visit, I had mentioned to Rachelle that I wanted to go to a thrift store and find an aerobic step for Grandma. I knew what I had in mind as long as the dimensions and weight would fit my idea.
After we finished lunch, we went to Goodwill. No luck finding what we were after. Then off to Play It Again Sports. Again, no luck. So, then to Big-5. They had one left in stock. I looked at it carefully and determined that it would be perfect. It was lightweight, measured 4 inches in height and about 18 inches long. The surface had a simple non-skid top to it. I loved it, so I bought it.
When we got back to the house, Mom and Dad were in the lower dining room watching TV.
"Hey Mom," I said.
I held up the box to show off the newest addition.
"You get to do aerobics now," I laughed. Mom smiled a little wondering what I was up to.
I pulled the step out and explained what it was for. Both Mom and Dad were excited to use the new step.
Later that afternoon when it was time for Mom's radiation again, we were able to put the new step to use.
Another rave review on the new ramp, then total excitement at the ease of the new step. Dad was super happy that it was so light. Mom said that it was a perfect height and we all noticed how perfectly it fit under the wheelchair.
What another awesome day it has been.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!
Mom's special birthday present
Anticipation, excitement. Just some of the things I was feeling today on Mom's birthday. It started out with a beautiful card and flowers, followed by a simple breakfast.
Mom was in good spirits today, too. A little weak, but looking great for 72 years young.
Later in the afternoon, it was time to go to her radiation treatment. Dad helped Mom get ready. I scurried around the house to straighten things up trying to kill time before we brought Mom out the garage door to see her new gift.
The time finally came...excitement again.
I went out in to the garage and closed the door slightly. Dad had Mom in her wheelchair ready for my signal to come on out.
"Okay, Dad," I say loudly.
"Wait," Mom's new favorite word. "We have to open the door."
Dad opens the door enough for Mom to finish opening it. That's when Dad and I both say loudly, "Happy Birthday, Mom!" I had the video camera going to capture the unforgettable moment.
Mom loved her new ramp that we had built. It was a smooth ride out the door compared to the clunky drop like before.
A few little adjustments like clearing out a little more room and straightening up in the garage more and everything was perfect for a smooth ride out the door to the van.
Happy Birthday....we love you.
Anticipation, excitement. Just some of the things I was feeling today on Mom's birthday. It started out with a beautiful card and flowers, followed by a simple breakfast.
Mom was in good spirits today, too. A little weak, but looking great for 72 years young.
Later in the afternoon, it was time to go to her radiation treatment. Dad helped Mom get ready. I scurried around the house to straighten things up trying to kill time before we brought Mom out the garage door to see her new gift.
The time finally came...excitement again.
I went out in to the garage and closed the door slightly. Dad had Mom in her wheelchair ready for my signal to come on out.
"Okay, Dad," I say loudly.
"Wait," Mom's new favorite word. "We have to open the door."
Dad opens the door enough for Mom to finish opening it. That's when Dad and I both say loudly, "Happy Birthday, Mom!" I had the video camera going to capture the unforgettable moment.
Mom loved her new ramp that we had built. It was a smooth ride out the door compared to the clunky drop like before.
A few little adjustments like clearing out a little more room and straightening up in the garage more and everything was perfect for a smooth ride out the door to the van.
Happy Birthday....we love you.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
IT CAME TO ME IN A DREAM
A new morning...a new idea...refreshed and ready to take on the day.
Dad was in his usual place again at the computer.
"Morning, Dad," I greeted him. He stood up and kissed me good morning followed by a hug.
"Mom actually did pretty good last night, " he told me. "She still got up every 2 hours, but she didn't seem to be in as much pain."
"That's great," I said. I went in to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for us. Mom was already up and in the bathroom just finishing up getting herself ready for the day.
I scrambled up some eggs with some toast. Nothing much, just a light meal for us. Mom actually ate a nice plate of eggs and drank her water. My sister, Annie and her husband brought up a special water machine that is absolutely pure water through the means of special metal plates. It helps cancer patients and it is perfect for the healthy person as well.
"Hey there, I'm going to go in to town for a little bit and do some shopping before we you guys go to radiation today." I say as I clear the breakfast dishes from the table.
"Okay," Mom says, "but don't come back any sooner than you absolutely want to. I want you to enjoy yourself while you're here." She smiled at me. I smiled back. I knew exactly what I was going to do.
All night I had been dreaming about the ramp that I wanted to build in the garage. I built it, tore it apart, rebuilt it, measured, re-measured, saw the wood the supplies until I finally had a perfectly built project in my mind. In my dreams I had built the perfect ramp, now to just do it for real.
"Mom's been having a little trouble going poop lately." Dad says. "I don't know what to do for her, she needs to go."
"How long has it been?" I ask.
"About 3 days now." Mom rubs her stomach wrenching her face as she explains that she feel bloated and it hurts.
I get the morning dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up. The house looks good for now until I get back from town. I kiss Mom and Dad and tell them that I'll be back in a little while. They smile and wave me on to get to what I want to do.
I'm in town and head over to the local DIY store. As I walk across the parking lot, I say a small prayer. "Lord, lead me to the right supplies, even if it's in the scrap area. Nothing fancy, easy to put together. Thank you, Lord."
I walked in to the store to the wood area. The smell of fresh cut wood was very pleasing and I slowly walked up and down the isles. At first, I glanced at all of the huge planks of wood that would require cutting to the size I needed. I was beginning to feel a little down that maybe my plan wouldn't work. But I remembered my prayer and put my trust back in God.
After about the 3rd isle, I stopped and looked at a mismatch of wood in some bins. I knew that my ramp couldn't be any taller than 4 inches, so something about 3 inches in height to create the slope and a plank of wood an inch thick would be perfect.
I looked at the bins and shelves. There I saw two 16 inch by 32 inch pieces of plyboard. They were 3/4 inches thick. Could there be any 1 inch thick? I didn't see any at all. I picked up the two boards and held them for a moment, thinking. Then I saw a fence post that measured 3 inches by 3 inches by 33 inches. Wow, perfect. Even though it was 1 inch longer than I needed, I knew that I had the room to work with it. My ramp idea was coming together perfectly.
I thought about the wood for a moment and then remembered that it had been raining outside the past few days. That would make for wet shoes on the wood that would eventually make for a very slippery and dangerous situation. How do I make a non-skid surface on the ramp?
I looked around and didn't see anything quick and easy available. One clerk mentioned painting the ramp and sprinkling sand on it. That would work, but that would also mean that the ramp wouldn't be able to be used for at least 24 hours. That wasn't acceptable.
Just then, I remembered seeing some roofing shingles on the side of the house in the walkway at Mom and Dad's. It had that gritty surface that would be perfect for a non-skid surface. So my idea now shifted to getting the roofing nails so that I could put those shingles on there.
I found some great wood screws to attach everything together. My "dream" ramp was coming together quite nicely. I was very pleased with the supplies I had found and was thanking God for leading me right to where I needed to find everything.
I paid for the items and then headed for the grocery store. I still remembered Dad mentioning that Mom was having trouble going poop, so I had a remedy in mind.
I went grocery shopping for Milk of Magnesia, Metamucil crackers and peas for split pea soup. Mom needs fiber and lots of it to break things up.
When I got home, Mom was taking a nap in her bed. Dad was up doing little things around the house. I brought in the groceries and my supplies to make the ramp.
"What's that" Dad asked.
"I'm going to make a ramp for you and Mom," I told him.
"Oh wow, that's great, Jenni. Wow." Dad was smiling so big. He went in to the garage and began getting tools to help me put it together.
I showed him my supplies and we laid them out to see just how it would all come together. Perfect fit all the way around. I told Dad of my dream last night and my prayer today. He was so happy that things worked out perfectly and he thanked God for the help, too.
We began using the power drill to make small holes so that the screws would go in easier. Then we placed the screws and had the ramp made in no time. We kept looking in to the bedroom where Mom was sleeping and she hadn't made a move. Guess it's a good thing she couldn't hear too well since we were making so much noise.
I told Dad that I'd be right back. I returned in a couple of minutes with 3 of the roofing shingles from the side of the house.
"What are those for?" he asked.
"A non-skid surface, so that when it rains outside, your shoes won't get the wood wet and make it slippery."
"Good thinking," Dad said.
I got back down on the floor and began hammering the roofing nails in the neatly placed shingles on the ramp. Dad held everything in place until we had a beautiful and complete ramp.
We both looked at Mom still sleeping in the room. She looked so peaceful laying there. It's funny that she didn't hear a thing at all.
"Should we show her tonight?" I asked Dad.
"No, let's wait until tomorrow when we get ready to go to radiation. It will be a great birthday present for her."
What an awesome idea. Can we both hold a secret that long? I know that I was so excited that I couldn't wait for Mom to see it.
The evening went well and I made some split pea soup for all of us. I showed Mom the Milk of Magnesia and Metamucil crackers. She was so thankful for all that I had bought for her. She did all my remedies in hopes to feel some relief soon.
Our little 'secret' ramp stayed perfectly hidden in the garage for Mom to see tomorrow afternoon. I can't wait!
Off to bed with a feeling of a job well done. Thank you Lord for your help and guidance.
Dad was in his usual place again at the computer.
"Morning, Dad," I greeted him. He stood up and kissed me good morning followed by a hug.
"Mom actually did pretty good last night, " he told me. "She still got up every 2 hours, but she didn't seem to be in as much pain."
"That's great," I said. I went in to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for us. Mom was already up and in the bathroom just finishing up getting herself ready for the day.
I scrambled up some eggs with some toast. Nothing much, just a light meal for us. Mom actually ate a nice plate of eggs and drank her water. My sister, Annie and her husband brought up a special water machine that is absolutely pure water through the means of special metal plates. It helps cancer patients and it is perfect for the healthy person as well.
"Hey there, I'm going to go in to town for a little bit and do some shopping before we you guys go to radiation today." I say as I clear the breakfast dishes from the table.
"Okay," Mom says, "but don't come back any sooner than you absolutely want to. I want you to enjoy yourself while you're here." She smiled at me. I smiled back. I knew exactly what I was going to do.
All night I had been dreaming about the ramp that I wanted to build in the garage. I built it, tore it apart, rebuilt it, measured, re-measured, saw the wood the supplies until I finally had a perfectly built project in my mind. In my dreams I had built the perfect ramp, now to just do it for real.
"Mom's been having a little trouble going poop lately." Dad says. "I don't know what to do for her, she needs to go."
"How long has it been?" I ask.
"About 3 days now." Mom rubs her stomach wrenching her face as she explains that she feel bloated and it hurts.
I get the morning dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up. The house looks good for now until I get back from town. I kiss Mom and Dad and tell them that I'll be back in a little while. They smile and wave me on to get to what I want to do.
I'm in town and head over to the local DIY store. As I walk across the parking lot, I say a small prayer. "Lord, lead me to the right supplies, even if it's in the scrap area. Nothing fancy, easy to put together. Thank you, Lord."
I walked in to the store to the wood area. The smell of fresh cut wood was very pleasing and I slowly walked up and down the isles. At first, I glanced at all of the huge planks of wood that would require cutting to the size I needed. I was beginning to feel a little down that maybe my plan wouldn't work. But I remembered my prayer and put my trust back in God.
After about the 3rd isle, I stopped and looked at a mismatch of wood in some bins. I knew that my ramp couldn't be any taller than 4 inches, so something about 3 inches in height to create the slope and a plank of wood an inch thick would be perfect.
I looked at the bins and shelves. There I saw two 16 inch by 32 inch pieces of plyboard. They were 3/4 inches thick. Could there be any 1 inch thick? I didn't see any at all. I picked up the two boards and held them for a moment, thinking. Then I saw a fence post that measured 3 inches by 3 inches by 33 inches. Wow, perfect. Even though it was 1 inch longer than I needed, I knew that I had the room to work with it. My ramp idea was coming together perfectly.
I thought about the wood for a moment and then remembered that it had been raining outside the past few days. That would make for wet shoes on the wood that would eventually make for a very slippery and dangerous situation. How do I make a non-skid surface on the ramp?
I looked around and didn't see anything quick and easy available. One clerk mentioned painting the ramp and sprinkling sand on it. That would work, but that would also mean that the ramp wouldn't be able to be used for at least 24 hours. That wasn't acceptable.
Just then, I remembered seeing some roofing shingles on the side of the house in the walkway at Mom and Dad's. It had that gritty surface that would be perfect for a non-skid surface. So my idea now shifted to getting the roofing nails so that I could put those shingles on there.
I found some great wood screws to attach everything together. My "dream" ramp was coming together quite nicely. I was very pleased with the supplies I had found and was thanking God for leading me right to where I needed to find everything.
I paid for the items and then headed for the grocery store. I still remembered Dad mentioning that Mom was having trouble going poop, so I had a remedy in mind.
I went grocery shopping for Milk of Magnesia, Metamucil crackers and peas for split pea soup. Mom needs fiber and lots of it to break things up.
When I got home, Mom was taking a nap in her bed. Dad was up doing little things around the house. I brought in the groceries and my supplies to make the ramp.
"What's that" Dad asked.
"I'm going to make a ramp for you and Mom," I told him.
"Oh wow, that's great, Jenni. Wow." Dad was smiling so big. He went in to the garage and began getting tools to help me put it together.
I showed him my supplies and we laid them out to see just how it would all come together. Perfect fit all the way around. I told Dad of my dream last night and my prayer today. He was so happy that things worked out perfectly and he thanked God for the help, too.
We began using the power drill to make small holes so that the screws would go in easier. Then we placed the screws and had the ramp made in no time. We kept looking in to the bedroom where Mom was sleeping and she hadn't made a move. Guess it's a good thing she couldn't hear too well since we were making so much noise.
I told Dad that I'd be right back. I returned in a couple of minutes with 3 of the roofing shingles from the side of the house.
"What are those for?" he asked.
"A non-skid surface, so that when it rains outside, your shoes won't get the wood wet and make it slippery."
"Good thinking," Dad said.
I got back down on the floor and began hammering the roofing nails in the neatly placed shingles on the ramp. Dad held everything in place until we had a beautiful and complete ramp.
We both looked at Mom still sleeping in the room. She looked so peaceful laying there. It's funny that she didn't hear a thing at all.
"Should we show her tonight?" I asked Dad.
"No, let's wait until tomorrow when we get ready to go to radiation. It will be a great birthday present for her."
What an awesome idea. Can we both hold a secret that long? I know that I was so excited that I couldn't wait for Mom to see it.
The evening went well and I made some split pea soup for all of us. I showed Mom the Milk of Magnesia and Metamucil crackers. She was so thankful for all that I had bought for her. She did all my remedies in hopes to feel some relief soon.
Our little 'secret' ramp stayed perfectly hidden in the garage for Mom to see tomorrow afternoon. I can't wait!
Off to bed with a feeling of a job well done. Thank you Lord for your help and guidance.
RADIATION APPOINTMENT
Early morning, about 6am. I wake up feeling rather refreshed. The room was cool with the ceiling fan on medium above the bed. The pillows were perfect and the mattress was so soft and comfy.
The sun was shining outside. Birds singing to the morning breeze that light keeping the temperatures down to a tolerable degree.
I go out of the room to the kitchen and see Dad sitting in his familiar place early in the morning. Every time I've come to visit and spend nights there, Dad was always up before the crack of dawn checking on his EBay accounts or just playing a game of Solitaire on the computer.
Lately, these early mornings seem to be his only peace and quiet away from taking care of Mom day and night.
"Morning, Dad," I say as I walked up to him.
"Morning," he stands up and gives me kiss and hug.
"How did Mom sleep last night?"
"Oh," Dad sighs a little, "She was in so much pain. She gets up every 2 hours to go potty. It wakes me up and I have a hard time going back to sleep." Dad continues on his game of Solitaire. He missed a move that he could have made before flipping the next three cards.
"We have a radiation appointment today at 3pm," he says. "Do you want to go with us?"
"I'd love to, thank you for asking me." I was excited to be able to go and see what it is that Mom has to go through.
I made some breakfast for all of us. Mom asked Dad to help her get up. He did and it was once again met with Mom crying out in pain that once again brought tears to my eyes.
"I must quit this," I told myself. "I can't keep breaking down like this every time hear Mom crying out. I must stay strong for her....that's what she asked me to do for her."
After several minutes and me keeping busy cleaning the kitchen to take my mind off of things, Mom and Dad came out of the room. Mom looked ravishing with her hair pulled back in a pony tail and she was wearing a beautiful pale green blouse and matching pants with a light suit jacket in a complimenting green.
I smiled and reached down to give her a kiss. She took my hand and said, "I'm so glad that you're here, sweetie." She looked up at me and smiled as I kissed her on her head.
The day went well and it was time to get ready to leave for the afternoon radiation treatment.
"Are you going with us?" Mom asked excitedly.
"Yes, is that okay?"
"Definitely," she returned with a smile. "It takes only about 10 minutes, but you can see what he place looks like anyway."
We all got ready and Dad was getting ready to wheel her through the door in to the garage to the mini-van. He had 3 small planks at the door that seemed like a primitive makeshift of a ramp to get Mom down a 4-inch drop through he door.
"Hang on, Mom," Dad says loudly as Mom panics for a second as Dad does a slight wheelie to drop her through the door. That's when my wheels started turning They need a ramp...not just for Mom, but also for Dad since he has arthritis so bad in his wrists. I wanted to build the ramp, but how and with what?
I quickly looked around the garage and found a tape measure. I zip the measure out and take 3 dimensions. The depth of the step, 4 inches, the width of 32 inches and the length of about another 32 inches. Great, easy numbers to stick in my head. Now just how to build it and with what materials.
Dad gets Mom to the van. He puts down the big clunky wooden step that he had made for Mom to get from her wheel chair to the bed in the bedroom. Mom uses it to also get in to the van since the seat was too high for her to just slip in to. Her right hip was causing her so much pain that the process for her to get from the chair to the van took about 5 minutes each and every time. Dad turns to me and says, "Every time, it's a struggle." He smiles slightly at me.
My wheels were turning again, but my thoughts were hard on how to make a ramp in the garage for now. I knew that it would be a simple job, but just how to keep it simple was my stumbling block for now. I'll just have to think about it for now, quietly.
We made it to radiation....another slow trip out of the van, in to the therapy room. There was a small bed in the middle of the room with what looked like a huge rotating thing that you'd see in a planetarium or something. A digital screen was displaying parameters for the azimuth and tilt.
The young assistant leaned over towards Mom and helped her out of the wheelchair slowly and up on to the bed. Dad and I left the room to return to the waiting area. We stopped briefly in the doctors office to ask about a remedy for Mom's chapped lips and burning tongue, most likely from the radiation and chemo. We were given a paper that had a simple recipe that included baking soda, salt and water.
Mom was returned back to the front room within what seemed like only a few minutes.
"You done already?" I asked.
"Yes, just like that," Mom said, beaming with a huge smile on her face. "This is my daily routine for the next 15 days minus weekends."
We returned home for a quiet evening together, watching TV and just visiting.
At bedtime, I was still thinking about the ramp in the garage and went to sleep dreaming of how to build it.
The sun was shining outside. Birds singing to the morning breeze that light keeping the temperatures down to a tolerable degree.
I go out of the room to the kitchen and see Dad sitting in his familiar place early in the morning. Every time I've come to visit and spend nights there, Dad was always up before the crack of dawn checking on his EBay accounts or just playing a game of Solitaire on the computer.
Lately, these early mornings seem to be his only peace and quiet away from taking care of Mom day and night.
"Morning, Dad," I say as I walked up to him.
"Morning," he stands up and gives me kiss and hug.
"How did Mom sleep last night?"
"Oh," Dad sighs a little, "She was in so much pain. She gets up every 2 hours to go potty. It wakes me up and I have a hard time going back to sleep." Dad continues on his game of Solitaire. He missed a move that he could have made before flipping the next three cards.
"We have a radiation appointment today at 3pm," he says. "Do you want to go with us?"
"I'd love to, thank you for asking me." I was excited to be able to go and see what it is that Mom has to go through.
I made some breakfast for all of us. Mom asked Dad to help her get up. He did and it was once again met with Mom crying out in pain that once again brought tears to my eyes.
"I must quit this," I told myself. "I can't keep breaking down like this every time hear Mom crying out. I must stay strong for her....that's what she asked me to do for her."
After several minutes and me keeping busy cleaning the kitchen to take my mind off of things, Mom and Dad came out of the room. Mom looked ravishing with her hair pulled back in a pony tail and she was wearing a beautiful pale green blouse and matching pants with a light suit jacket in a complimenting green.
I smiled and reached down to give her a kiss. She took my hand and said, "I'm so glad that you're here, sweetie." She looked up at me and smiled as I kissed her on her head.
The day went well and it was time to get ready to leave for the afternoon radiation treatment.
"Are you going with us?" Mom asked excitedly.
"Yes, is that okay?"
"Definitely," she returned with a smile. "It takes only about 10 minutes, but you can see what he place looks like anyway."
We all got ready and Dad was getting ready to wheel her through the door in to the garage to the mini-van. He had 3 small planks at the door that seemed like a primitive makeshift of a ramp to get Mom down a 4-inch drop through he door.
"Hang on, Mom," Dad says loudly as Mom panics for a second as Dad does a slight wheelie to drop her through the door. That's when my wheels started turning They need a ramp...not just for Mom, but also for Dad since he has arthritis so bad in his wrists. I wanted to build the ramp, but how and with what?
I quickly looked around the garage and found a tape measure. I zip the measure out and take 3 dimensions. The depth of the step, 4 inches, the width of 32 inches and the length of about another 32 inches. Great, easy numbers to stick in my head. Now just how to build it and with what materials.
Dad gets Mom to the van. He puts down the big clunky wooden step that he had made for Mom to get from her wheel chair to the bed in the bedroom. Mom uses it to also get in to the van since the seat was too high for her to just slip in to. Her right hip was causing her so much pain that the process for her to get from the chair to the van took about 5 minutes each and every time. Dad turns to me and says, "Every time, it's a struggle." He smiles slightly at me.
My wheels were turning again, but my thoughts were hard on how to make a ramp in the garage for now. I knew that it would be a simple job, but just how to keep it simple was my stumbling block for now. I'll just have to think about it for now, quietly.
We made it to radiation....another slow trip out of the van, in to the therapy room. There was a small bed in the middle of the room with what looked like a huge rotating thing that you'd see in a planetarium or something. A digital screen was displaying parameters for the azimuth and tilt.
The young assistant leaned over towards Mom and helped her out of the wheelchair slowly and up on to the bed. Dad and I left the room to return to the waiting area. We stopped briefly in the doctors office to ask about a remedy for Mom's chapped lips and burning tongue, most likely from the radiation and chemo. We were given a paper that had a simple recipe that included baking soda, salt and water.
Mom was returned back to the front room within what seemed like only a few minutes.
"You done already?" I asked.
"Yes, just like that," Mom said, beaming with a huge smile on her face. "This is my daily routine for the next 15 days minus weekends."
We returned home for a quiet evening together, watching TV and just visiting.
At bedtime, I was still thinking about the ramp in the garage and went to sleep dreaming of how to build it.
NO "FIFTH WHEEL" HERE.....
It was set. Spoke to work and was able to schedule 7 days with my parents. I was totally excited to be able to spend so much time with them, especially after the news we were dealt about Mom.
I'd spoken to Dad a few times on the phone prior to coming out. He sounded weak, tired and depressed. He'd sigh at the thought of Mom's condition. He'd tell me that he didn't know what to do.
When I told Dad that I was coming out and would be there in a few days, he was so happy to hear that. He couldn't wait...and I couldn't wait to get there...but I had to. Rob and I were in Utah still and had to deliver a couple of loads in California before we picked one up that would allow me to get off the truck in Redding. So I had to be patient.
We finally arrived to Redding. My daughter, Rachelle, came down to pick us up from the truckstop and take us up to Mom and Dad's house.
We ordered one of Mom's favorite meals to take up to the house just in case she and Dad were a little hungry. She loved Popeye's Chicken with mashed potatoes, gravy and a bisquit.
Rob was able to stay long enough for dinner, but had to get back on the truck to head up to Washington with the load of strawberries that we picked up in Stockton, California.
Mom looked weak. She spoke very quietly, nibbled on a little bit of food and sipped water out of her little cup. She sat in her wheel chair and looked very tired. Although, she was very happy to see both of us, her energy just wouldn't allow her to get too excited.
Dad looked tired and worn out. I asked him when the last time was that he'd eaten.
"Oh, I've had a little bit to eat here and there," he said.
"Well, Dad" I said, "we brought some chicken dinner and fixings for everyone.
"Great! Thanks you guys." Dad said with a great big smile on his face.
I asked Mom if she wanted any chicken. She looked up, nodded and said "sure, I'll try some."
I pulled apart a little bit of the chicken breast, a spoonful of potatoes and part of a bisquit. I gave it to Mom and she squinted at the food, crinkled her nose and said that it didn't look good to her.
"Come on Mom, you've got to eat something," Dad said loudly. Mom was hard of hearing and speaking in very loud voices or using sign language was the only way to really communicate with her. I was sort of good at sign language, but knew enough to hold a fairly coherent conversation.
Mom finally began nibbling at the chicken. She actually liked it enough to ask for some more. We were all very pleased to see her eat seconds.
"Hey, Bob...you'd better slow down on that chicken," Rob said in a kind of laughing tone.
Dad was obviously so hungry that he was tearing apart the chicken like some of those movies you see where someone just shoves food in their faces when they are starving. I guess that when you're that hungry, you really can't get the food in to your mouth fast enough. I always thought that was just 'over-acting' on the movie part. Guess not.
"Papa..." Mom piped up. "I need to go potty."
Dad didn't hesitate one bit. He put his chicken down and immediately went over to Mom and wheeled her chair in to the bathroom in their bedroom. Dad closed the bedroom door behind him. Then you could hear Mom crying out in pain. It brought tears to my eyes to hear her like that. I couldn't eat any more, the thought of her being in so much pain clinched my stomach so much that it made feel like I was full.
The thoughts going through my head was, "How am I going to be of any help here when it is clear that Dad has Mom handled and anyone else would just be in the way?" I was beginning to feel like a FIFTH wheel there. Kind of like a fidgety little kid wondering what to do to make it look like I was busy doing something. I had to put my thoughts together quickly so that I wouldn't end up being in the way and being more of a problem than a help.
After a few minutes, Dad came out of the room.
"That's what it's like...every day." He said as he sat down in a chair in the dining room. He put his hands on his head as he moved back the few strands of hair left.
"Oh My," he said as he looked at me. "What are we going to do?" His eyes were slightly red as you could see that tears were beginning to form in his eyes.
I stood up and put my arms around his shoulders, kissed him gently on the head and told him that we'll just take it one day at a time.
It was time to take Rob back to the truckstop. He had to get going if he was to be able to get to Washington in time to deliver his load and still be able to run for a little while after he got unloaded.
After I dropped Rob off, I drove towards Mom and Dads place. I stopped to put some gas in the car since Dad was letting me borrow their Tracer while I was visiting. That's cool. It's a little 4-door car that will be perfect to run some errands while I'm there, if needed.
My mind went over the episode of Mom crying and Dad at almost his wits end over what was going on. What can I do to help out? It was obvious that I can't do anything to help Mom at all. She is a one-person need and Dad was that one-person. Anyone else could cause more pain, plus Moms nerves were so shot from the Chemo and Radiation therapy.
I kenneled our little dog, Gizmo. Rob was keeping our other dog, Kali, with him on the truck. It was just easier that way. Mom could barely handle their two little Chihuahua's, having one other dog there and all three of them barking and running around was more than she could handle.
I returned home and Mom was back in the dining room in her wheel chair. She actually looked a little better. She apologized to me for what I had seen. I told her that she didn't need to apologize at all. I kissed her on the top of her head, stroking her long brunette hair down her back.
"Well, that will probably go away," Mom said as she looked up at me.
"What, your hair?"
"Yes, the doctor seems to think that I'll lose it because of the chemo." Mom put up her hands with the 'oh well' look on her face.
"If she goes bald," Dad added, "I'll still love her, she'll be just like me then," he smiled like a little kid as he rubbed his bald head that still held a few strands of hair here and there. We all laughed.
I'd spoken to Dad a few times on the phone prior to coming out. He sounded weak, tired and depressed. He'd sigh at the thought of Mom's condition. He'd tell me that he didn't know what to do.
When I told Dad that I was coming out and would be there in a few days, he was so happy to hear that. He couldn't wait...and I couldn't wait to get there...but I had to. Rob and I were in Utah still and had to deliver a couple of loads in California before we picked one up that would allow me to get off the truck in Redding. So I had to be patient.
We finally arrived to Redding. My daughter, Rachelle, came down to pick us up from the truckstop and take us up to Mom and Dad's house.
We ordered one of Mom's favorite meals to take up to the house just in case she and Dad were a little hungry. She loved Popeye's Chicken with mashed potatoes, gravy and a bisquit.
Rob was able to stay long enough for dinner, but had to get back on the truck to head up to Washington with the load of strawberries that we picked up in Stockton, California.
Mom looked weak. She spoke very quietly, nibbled on a little bit of food and sipped water out of her little cup. She sat in her wheel chair and looked very tired. Although, she was very happy to see both of us, her energy just wouldn't allow her to get too excited.
Dad looked tired and worn out. I asked him when the last time was that he'd eaten.
"Oh, I've had a little bit to eat here and there," he said.
"Well, Dad" I said, "we brought some chicken dinner and fixings for everyone.
"Great! Thanks you guys." Dad said with a great big smile on his face.
I asked Mom if she wanted any chicken. She looked up, nodded and said "sure, I'll try some."
I pulled apart a little bit of the chicken breast, a spoonful of potatoes and part of a bisquit. I gave it to Mom and she squinted at the food, crinkled her nose and said that it didn't look good to her.
"Come on Mom, you've got to eat something," Dad said loudly. Mom was hard of hearing and speaking in very loud voices or using sign language was the only way to really communicate with her. I was sort of good at sign language, but knew enough to hold a fairly coherent conversation.
Mom finally began nibbling at the chicken. She actually liked it enough to ask for some more. We were all very pleased to see her eat seconds.
"Hey, Bob...you'd better slow down on that chicken," Rob said in a kind of laughing tone.
Dad was obviously so hungry that he was tearing apart the chicken like some of those movies you see where someone just shoves food in their faces when they are starving. I guess that when you're that hungry, you really can't get the food in to your mouth fast enough. I always thought that was just 'over-acting' on the movie part. Guess not.
"Papa..." Mom piped up. "I need to go potty."
Dad didn't hesitate one bit. He put his chicken down and immediately went over to Mom and wheeled her chair in to the bathroom in their bedroom. Dad closed the bedroom door behind him. Then you could hear Mom crying out in pain. It brought tears to my eyes to hear her like that. I couldn't eat any more, the thought of her being in so much pain clinched my stomach so much that it made feel like I was full.
The thoughts going through my head was, "How am I going to be of any help here when it is clear that Dad has Mom handled and anyone else would just be in the way?" I was beginning to feel like a FIFTH wheel there. Kind of like a fidgety little kid wondering what to do to make it look like I was busy doing something. I had to put my thoughts together quickly so that I wouldn't end up being in the way and being more of a problem than a help.
After a few minutes, Dad came out of the room.
"That's what it's like...every day." He said as he sat down in a chair in the dining room. He put his hands on his head as he moved back the few strands of hair left.
"Oh My," he said as he looked at me. "What are we going to do?" His eyes were slightly red as you could see that tears were beginning to form in his eyes.
I stood up and put my arms around his shoulders, kissed him gently on the head and told him that we'll just take it one day at a time.
It was time to take Rob back to the truckstop. He had to get going if he was to be able to get to Washington in time to deliver his load and still be able to run for a little while after he got unloaded.
After I dropped Rob off, I drove towards Mom and Dads place. I stopped to put some gas in the car since Dad was letting me borrow their Tracer while I was visiting. That's cool. It's a little 4-door car that will be perfect to run some errands while I'm there, if needed.
My mind went over the episode of Mom crying and Dad at almost his wits end over what was going on. What can I do to help out? It was obvious that I can't do anything to help Mom at all. She is a one-person need and Dad was that one-person. Anyone else could cause more pain, plus Moms nerves were so shot from the Chemo and Radiation therapy.
I kenneled our little dog, Gizmo. Rob was keeping our other dog, Kali, with him on the truck. It was just easier that way. Mom could barely handle their two little Chihuahua's, having one other dog there and all three of them barking and running around was more than she could handle.
I returned home and Mom was back in the dining room in her wheel chair. She actually looked a little better. She apologized to me for what I had seen. I told her that she didn't need to apologize at all. I kissed her on the top of her head, stroking her long brunette hair down her back.
"Well, that will probably go away," Mom said as she looked up at me.
"What, your hair?"
"Yes, the doctor seems to think that I'll lose it because of the chemo." Mom put up her hands with the 'oh well' look on her face.
"If she goes bald," Dad added, "I'll still love her, she'll be just like me then," he smiled like a little kid as he rubbed his bald head that still held a few strands of hair here and there. We all laughed.
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