AN OPEN LETTER - LETTER TO THE FAMILY FROM DAD

It has been over a year since my Betty passed away. 

After 53 years of togetherness I find it hard to not vacillate from the last two stages of grief, depression and acceptance. 

Card games, bowling, or Bunko nearly every day and sometimes twice a day, dancing on Friday nights then on to karaoke after the dance, daily doing some activity with Geri, and church on Sunday.

Although I am keeping busy with everyday activities I still am confronted with the depression and acceptance stages. I don't have any problems with denial, anger, or bargaining.

Although I do love having a relationship with Geri, I do miss Betty.  Once I told Geri that she couldn't replace Betty, she cried and said "I need to go home".  Later when I called her, she was crying. I explained to her that I didn't expect her to replace Betty and that it would create problems if I expected her to be like Betty and that I am the one who would have to adapt to my new life.  Geri has a great sense of humor, generosity and caring.

Every day I have fluctuations in my emotions.  Anxious and blue one day to lightheartedness and happy the next. I grieve one day at a time at my own pace. 

When Betty died my world changed.  I felt numb, shocked and fearful.  My life was interrupted but now my new life is coming together much sooner than I expected. 

I do miss Betty but the pain is less, still I have some bad days.  The good days are more than the bad. 

Realizing early on that mourning too long would not be good for my mind or my health, I determined that I needed to keep myself occupied with the things I would enjoy.  Having once read that you need to do things that you enjoy because it is now only about you.  That was a bit hard to do at first until I realized the therapeutic value it presented for getting on with my life.

I know and understand that Betty was ready to go but we were not ready or willing to say goodby.  She left us all here to cope with her passing and I feel the girls and all the extended family are doing well in that arena.  Tears still come from time to time as they are now but life must go on.  I love my girls and I know they love me. POPS
 
"A true friend is one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart"